I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
