She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
