I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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