WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
