I just pynch a tree in the face
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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