4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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