Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
please come you make the beer taste better
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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