Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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