I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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