he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
