My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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