i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Found the puke drawer
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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