i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
