is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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