You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
