Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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