in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I accidentally burped into my bong.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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