i dedicated my morning wood to you.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
