i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
