I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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