at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
