Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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