I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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