I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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