everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
