Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
