yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
