Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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