I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
