so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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