is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think people are normalizing furries
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