I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
