I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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