I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
