So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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