So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
