wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
