dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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