break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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