Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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