When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
