If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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