fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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