he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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