hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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