New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
All I want is dick and wine.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
