Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
