He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
