well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
