One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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