I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
