so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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