did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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