I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
